Review: The Retribution of Mara Dyer (The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer #3) by Michelle Hodkin

Book Title: The Retribution of Mara Dyer

Author: Michelle Hodkin

Published Date: November 4th, 2014

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books For Young Readers

Genre: YA Mystery

Series: Book Three in The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer trilogy

Book Link: Goodreads

Purchase Links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, The Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Mara Dyer wants to believe there's more to the lies she’s been told.
There is.

She doesn’t stop to think about where her quest for the truth might lead.
She should.

She never had to imagine how far she would go for vengeance.
She will now.

Loyalties are betrayed, guilt and innocence tangle, and fate and chance collide in this shocking conclusion to Mara Dyer’s story.

Retribution has arrived.

Disclaimer: Library book.

Review:

So I was told, right before I started this book, that it was much different than the first two. I went into it not knowing what I was about to experience. 

By the time the 2nd book ended, I no longer trusted Kells, who worked at Horizons Treatment Facility. She had proven to be untrustworthy and when book 3 starts, almost immediately, I remember why I don't trust her.

"Pain is just a feeling and feelings aren't real."

That quote stands out to me big time now, since I finished the book. Given everything that happens in this final book, that quote is really more of a manipulative statement that borders on foreshadowing. When I first read it, though, I got angry. Angry that someone would imply essentially, that pain wasn't real.

Kells further proves her jerkiness by telling Mara that she can't be fixed, she can't be helped. No matter what Kells does for her, she is helpless. Kells mentions that she has spent years trying to help patients like Mara, but the significance of that statement wasn't clear to me until I kept reading and learned more about Kells' past.

I don't think I even mentioned Jamie in my review of the first two books, but I quickly grew to love him in this book. He was a great friend and super funny to boot. Jamie's response to swimming to a boat was priceless.

"Not it. Sharks, first of all, and second of all, sharks."

Perfect response, and it's a response that I myself would have had in the same situation. I don't do sharks. Neither does Jamie, apparently.

We get more Stella too, which excited me. I enjoyed getting to know her better throughout this book. We find out what exactly are Stella's powers when she is held captive by a man who has made his intentions to rape & kill her very obvious. That scene was incredibly intense, and I found myself biting my nails while reading.

I loved watching Stella and Mara talk about girly things like periods and tampons in front of Jamie. He made it so clear that the conversation was not enjoyable to him. Poor guy wanted to put the kibosh on it ASAP.

As uncomfortable as Jamie was with the period talk, he was perfectly fine with discussing sex. I'm guessing that's just a guy thing, but anyway, he wanted to know if Mara wanted to have sex with Noah, and if she did, why hadn't she done it with him. This is where Mara confesses that she's afraid of hurting him. Not emotionally, but physically.

As this book continues, we learn Kells has a connection to both Jude and Claire. A connection I never saw coming. This connection stopped me dead, and I had a minor freak-out for about 5 minutes before I calmed myself down enough to keep reading. We also learned the truth about what happened that night at the asylum. Did Mara actually kill them, or was it someone else?

While all this is going on, we're also seeing flashbacks to what happened previously to make everything happen in the present time. We learn more and more about what happened to Mara's grandmother, and we find out what her role in all this was.

In the present time, we learn who else was a part of this crazy scheme and I cannot say that I was surprised by who it was. I had suspected it for awhile, even before I grasped the full truth of what craziness was actually happening. Up until this point I wasn't sure what was going on or who else was involved.

It was words from Noah's mother that actually hit me the most. She had some glorious words of wisdom that practically knocked me off my feet. Words that I think are important to all of us.

"Do not find peace. Find passion. Find something you want to die for more than something you want to live for."

Mara also had some very interesting quotes that I thought were important to remember.

"The choices you make will change you."

She chose to love Noah. Love is a choice, and despite knowing what she was and what he was, she chose him anyway. Choosing Noah before had already changed her, and choosing him again, would change her again.

There really wasn't enough Noah in this book which was definitely a disappointment. I had fallen in love with Noah in book one and I had never stopped rooting for him and for Mara to be able to work it out despite all the odds.

"I love you. Today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever. If I were to live a thousand years, I'd belong to you for all of them. If I were to live a thousand lives, I'd want to make you mine for each one."

I didn't love this book as much as I loved the previous books. I wanted more with Mara's family, particularly her mom. So much was made about the connection between Mara and her grandmother. I couldn't imagine keeping such a secret from my own daughter. It was difficult for me to understand that part. I will give this book 4 stars, as it was enjoyable, and I did enjoy how everything unraveled.

Review: Positively Beautiful by Wendy Mills

Book Title: Positively Beautiful

Author: Wendy Mills

Publisher: Bloomsbury Children's

Published Date: March 3rd, 2015

Genre: YA Contemporary

Standalone

Book Link: Goodreads

Pre-Order Links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, The Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Jodi Picoult for teens meets Lurlene McDaniel. Beautiful written, beautifully moving, a vivid contemporary story of a girl’s unusual but terrible dilemma - and the love story that springs from it. 

16-year-old Erin is a smart if slightly dorky teenager, her life taken up with her best friend Trina, her major crush on smoky-eyed, unattainable Michael, and fending off Faith, the vision of perfection who’s somehow always had the knife in for Erin. Her dad, a pilot, died when she was very young, but Erin and her mom are just fine on their own.

Then everything changes forever one day after school when Erin’s mom announces she has breast cancer. And there’s even worse news to come. Horrified, Erin discovers that her grandmother’s death from cancer is almost certainly linked, the common denominator a rare gene mutation that makes cancer almost inevitable. And if two generations of women in the family had this mutation, what does that mean for Erin? The chances she’s inherited it are frighteningly high. Would it be better to know now and have major preemptive surgery or spend as much life as she has left in blissful ignorance?

As Erin grapples with her terrible dilemma, her life starts to spiral downwards, alleviated only by the flying lessons she starts taking with grumpy Stew and his little yellow plane, Tweetie Bird. Up in the sky, following in her dad’s footsteps, Erin finds freedom chasing the horizon. Down on the ground it’s a different story, and facing betrayal from Trina, humiliation from Faith, and a world of disappointment with Michael, Erin knows she must discover the truth about herself. Sure enough, she’s positive for the gene that’s slowly killing her mom.

Suddenly, Erin’s life has turned into a nightmare, and the only person she can truly talk to is a girl called Ashley who she meets online. But when, in a moment of madness, Erin flies away with Tweetie Pie to find her new friend, she finds herself on a journey that will take her through not only shock and despair - but ultimately to a new understanding of the true meaning of beauty, meaning, and love.

 Disclaimer: I received this ARC from Bloomsbury Children's in exchange for my honest review.

Review:

If something is pitched to me as YA Jodi Picoult & Lurlene McDaniel, chances are really, really high that I'll fall in love with the book, cradle the book in my arms and cry violently in the end. I initially credited Bloomsbury with the pitch, but then realized it was Goodreads that had said this. Well done Goodreads, well done.

This book was utterly beautiful, gorgeous, heartbreaking and hopeful all at once. I read it one night when I couldn't fall asleep and I did not put it down until I had finished it (sometime after 3:30am) It's a rare book that can keep me up almost all night, but this one did just that and it was done beautifully. 

I spent a big chunk of the book wanting to hug Erin. She was going through so much and the thought of me ever having to go through it with my own mother, was something I never wanted to think about. Like Erin and her mom, my own mother and I are extremely close and I couldn't imagine having to watch my mom go through chemo. I'd like to think I'd be as strong as Erin was, but I don't know.

I wasn't sure how I'd feel about the flying bits. I was worried I'd be bored, but I wasn't. I understood Erin's longing to share something with her dad. I understood her mother's reluctance given the circumstances, but Erin needed something that she shared with her deceased father. I've always wished I shared something with my father. Maybe I do, I doubt I'll ever find out. I was happy to see Erin embracing this part of her father, and Stew was great. He was a crotchety old man, but he cared about Erin in a non-creepy, almost fatherly way.

I wasn't all that fond of Michael, so I was hoping it wouldn't go anywhere. Michael was not who Erin needed. She needed someone solid, kind and generous. Like Jason. I didn't expect to like Jason much, but he grew on me slowly but surely. They made more sense together than Michael and Erin ever did.

I was of two minds when she flew off to meet her friend: I understood that she needed to get away from everything that was going on. Erin really did need a break from having to see her mom so sick from the treatments. Yet, I knew I could never have done what she did. Not if my mom was that sick. I could never leave her alone to deal with this no matter how scared I was. I was pretty peeved at Erin for making her mom worry during this time. Her mom should have been focused on her own health, and instead, Erin was acting like a six year old who ran away instead of dealing with things, which of course upset her mom.

The strongest part of the book was Erin's relationship with her mom. It was wonderful to see a teenager get along so well with their mom. The last 50 or so pages pretty much shattered every single feeling I've ever had. I actually took pictures of myself after I finished the book. I don't think a book has ever made me cry as much as this one did.

I loved this book, and I am giving it 5 stars. It is beautiful, it features a strong mother/daughter dynamic and it will break your heart into a thousand teeny tiny pieces. I cannot wait to get a finished copy of this beautiful book. I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone who is not scared off by a "cancer book"

Review: The Evolution of Mara Dyer (The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer #2) by Michelle Hodkin

Book Title: The Evolution of Mara Dyer

Author: Michelle Hodkin

Published Date: October 23rd, 2012

Publisher: Simon and Schuster Books For Young Readers

Genre: YA Mystery

Series: Book Two in The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer trilogy

Book Link: Goodreads

Purchase Links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, The Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Mara Dyer once believed she could run from her past.
She can’t.

She used to think her problems were all in her head.
They aren’t.

She couldn’t imagine that after everything she’s been through, the boy she loves would still be keeping secrets.
She’s wrong.

In this gripping sequel to The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer, the truth evolves and choices prove deadly. What will become of Mara Dyer next?

Disclaimer: Library book.

Review:

Holy crap, what an opening for this book. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what was going on at the end of the last book, but this one opened with a bang. We learned some things about Mara's grandmother that we weren't expecting and that Mara, herself never knew about.

We also delve into the differences between Mara's family and Noah's dysfunctional family. Noah's father is cold and distant and his stepmother tries to be there for him, but it doesn't really work out like that. Noah is very loyal to his sister, Katie, she's the only one to not let him down. He's clearly envious of the fact that Mara's family loves her and supports her throughout this messed up time in her life.

Mara starts to have issues with sleepwalking, all the way to the point where she doesn't remember throwing things away. She'll wake up the next morning and have no memory of the things she did the night before.

The concept of genetic memory is broached which I loved hearing about. I found that idea to be so fascinating. I loved that Noah brought it up. It was supposed to be a connection between Mara and her grandmother, and given how it unfolded, I liked it a lot.

Noah pushes her to put down her defenses and actually wanting him first, instead of having him always being the aggressor. She struggles with the fear that she'll hurt him, but he wants her to trust him, he wants her to fight against her fear. He is in love with her and she is in love with him. There is a lot of fear and distrust between them, but not in the way most people would think.

"This was the boy I loved. A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like me."

Near the end, we start to get some of our questions answered. Questions about Jude, Stella, Jamie and Phoebe, among others. The ending was absolutely bat-crap crazy. Even crazier than the first book. I loooooved this book, it was an improvement over the first book, although I was crazy about the first book too, but this book was a crazy-awesome roller coaster ride. 5 stars to this book. ALL THE STARS!!

Review: The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer (The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer #1) by Michelle Hodkin

Book Title: The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Author: Michelle Hodkin

Published Date: September 27th, 2011

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books For Young Readers

Genre: YA Mystery

Series: Book One in The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer trilogy

Book Link: Goodreads

Purchase Links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, The Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Mara Dyer believes life can't get any stranger than waking up in a hospital with no memory of how she got there.
It can. 

She believes there must be more to the accident she can't remember that killed her friends and left her strangely unharmed. 
There is.

She doesn't believe that after everything she's been through, she can fall in love. 
She's wrong.

Disclaimer: This book was a gift.

Review:

Holy, freaking, crap. So. So. So GOOD!

I had no idea what I was getting into with this book. I was sure I was going to love it. Right off the bat, I was hooked. It started with a letter by Mara and then we dove into her life, both before the incident and after the incident. It was a book that kept me guessing all the way through. I never knew what to expect every single page.

Noah, holy crap he was adorable and hot. He was nothing like he was originally portrayed. He was sweet, kind, swoony and he deeply cared about Mara. I was worried that he was going to be an asshole, especially once he found out what she was hiding. I didn't want to stop adoring him, and I hoped that it wouldn't come to that.

Mara's family was great. I loved that she had a close knit family that seemed to actually care about each other and be reasonably normal. So often in YA books we get dysfunctional families and while that's not a big problem for me, it's nice to read about families who have stuck together and whose parents are still married.

There are so many things that I want to talk about, but they are spoilery things and while this book has been out for awhile, I still don't want to talk spoilery things for this book. So this book was awesome and everyone needs to read it. It was a bit slow in some parts, and that's the only reason I'm giving it 4.5 stars.

Review: Better Than Perfect by Melissa Kantor

Book Title: Better Than Perfect

Author: Melissa Kantor

Published Date: February 17th, 2015

Publisher: HarperTeen

Genre: YA Contemporary

Standalone

Book Link: Goodreads

Pre-Order Links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, The Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Juliet Newman has it all. A picture-perfect family; a handsome, loving boyfriend; and a foolproof life plan: ace her SATs, get accepted into Harvard early decision, and live happily ever after.

But when her dad moves out and her mom loses it, Juliet begins questioning the rules she’s always lived by. And to make everything even more complicated there’s Declan, the gorgeous boy who makes her feel alive and spontaneous—and who’s totally off-limits. Torn between the life she always thought she wanted and one she never knew was possible, Juliet begins to wonder: What if perfect isn't all it’s cracked up to be?

Melissa Kantor once again delivers a tale that is equal parts surprising, humorous, heartbreaking, and romantic. Powerful and honest, Juliet’s story brilliantly portrays the highs and lows of life in high school and will resonate with any reader who has experienced either.

Disclaimer: I got this e-ARC from HarperTeen via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

Review:

I was excited to read this book because like Juliet, I was a high achiever and I had a plan at her age. A plan that I had no desire to deviate from. But that was where our similarities ended. She was overly clingy with her boyfriend, Jason, to the point that she wasn't sure how she was going to live without him for two whole weeks while he and his family went on vacation. 

Yes, seriously, two weeks. C'mon Juliet, I think you can handle being apart for two weeks.

I wanted to have sympathy for her mom, I really did because my own mom battled depression in the past and it was hard for me to watch. But it was hard for me to have sympathy for the woman just because her husband left. I mean, get over it and move on. Making Juliet care for her was unfair as well. Juliet had her own stuff going on, and now she had to be the adult and get her mom to shower and eat.

I didn't care for either of her parents. It felt like she had no control over her life, and that they influenced her decisions a lot more than they should have. If she really wanted to go to Harvard, she would have, but instead she begins to realize that she needs to live her own life, whatever that means to her. I would even make the argument that the only reason she worked so hard to get to Harvard was because of her parents. Not something she wanted, but something her parents wanted and she wanted their love. She was afraid that their love was conditional on her going to Harvard.

The whole Declan thing was weird. I don't love cheating in books, but I don't abhor it like I used to. I didn't like Declan, but that may have been because I didn't like Juliet either. She was so different than me in a lot of ways, and her silence on so many things drove me crazy. Her parents were so big on "don't make a scene" that Juliet was quiet, obedient and just a very boring, one dimensional character.

This book was very slow moving and it felt like I could skip a chunk of this book and still not miss much. It's not often that I enjoy books that are slow moving and this one was no exception.

I was excited to read this book because I loved Melissa Kantor's previous book, Maybe One Day, but this book was such a disappointment to me. I didn't like any of the characters and I was bored while I was reading it. So unfortunately, I have to give this book 2 stars. I would not recommend this book mostly because of the slow pace and unlikeable characters.

Review: The Distance Between Lost and Found by Kathryn Holmes

Book Title: The Distance Between Lost and Found

Author: Kathryn Holmes

Published Date: February 17th, 2015

Publisher: HarperTeen

Genre: YA Contemporary

Standalone

Book Link: Goodreads

Pre-Order Links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, The Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Ever since the night of the incident with Luke Willis, the preacher’s son, sophomore Hallelujah Calhoun has been silent. When the rumors swirled around school, she was silent. When her parents grounded her, she was silent. When her friends abandoned her … silent.

Now, six months later, on a youth group retreat in the Smoky Mountains, Hallie still can’t find a voice to answer the taunting. Shame and embarrassment haunt her, while Luke keeps coming up with new ways to humiliate her. Not even meeting Rachel, an outgoing newcomer who isn’t aware of her past, can pull Hallie out of her shell. Being on the defensive for so long has left her raw, and she doesn’t know who to trust.

On a group hike, the incessant bullying pushes Hallie to her limit. When Hallie, Rachel, and Hallie’s former friend Jonah get separated from the rest of the group, the situation quickly turns dire. Stranded in the wilderness, the three have no choice but to band together.

With past betrayals and harrowing obstacles in their way, Hallie fears they’ll never reach safety. Could speaking up about the night that changed everything close the distance between being lost and found? Or has she traveled too far to come back?

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from HarperTeen via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

Review:

I really should have listened to my inner voice before downloading this book. I mean really, this book had EVERYTHING that I despise in books and yet, for some crazy reason, I decided to read it. Not a smart decision at all. There was a lot of religion in this book which I normally try to stay away from.

Not only did religion play a huge part in this book, but there was an astonishing amount of victim blaming in this book. I spent the entire book furious at these teenagers who were bullying Hallie. Not only were they bullying her, but there were rumors spreading around the school, and of course there was a boy, the preacher's son who was the Golden Boy in the community.

He couldn't do anything wrong and everything that happened that night was all Hallie's fault. It didn't matter that she said no. It didn't matter that she resisted him. All that mattered was what people saw when the bedroom door opened that night. What did these kids see, you ask? They saw Hallie on top of him and he making a big show out of refusing her and pushing her away.

Of course she was the one that was punished. This was a load of sexiest bullshit. I was furious beyond belief. They even told her she couldn't attend youth group for awhile because she was a bad influence! But of course the boy got a pass, for one reason, and one reason only, he's a boy.

Hallie was the complete opposite of me. Instead of standing up for herself, she didn't defend herself at all. You better believe if this happened to me when I was a teenager, I would not shut up about it. I would defend myself loudly from the beginning. However Hallie didn't stand up to Luke until the end of this book, and that did not sit well with me at all.

I had really high hopes for this book, but I was livid throughout the majority of it and was so happy when the book was over. It was just not a book for me. There were bad messages throughout the whole thing and I didn't like any of the characters. I'm giving this book 2 stars and I would not recommend this book to anyone.

Review: My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

Book Title: My Heart and Other Black Holes

Author: Jasmine Warga

Published Date: February 10th, 2015

Publisher: Balzer + Bray

Genre: YA Contemporary

Standalone

Book Link: Goodreads

Pre-Order Links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, The Book Depository

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner. 

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.

Disclaimer: I received this e-ARC from Balzer + Bray via Edelweiss in exchange for my honest review.

Review:

I have had issues with other books that were very similar to this one, so I was worried that this one would also be a disappointment to me. What I wasn't expecting was to fall in love with Aysel and Roman so completely. Flawed characters are my jam and these two are so flawed, yet so human, it was easy to fall in love with them.

I actually liked Roman a lot, maybe even more than I liked Aysel. Roman had his own guilt to deal with. He blames himself for the death of his younger sister, even though his parents don't blame him, and in fact they love him fiercely. I was angry with him that he wanted to commit suicide when he had two loving parents who had already been through the hell of losing their youngest. I understood his thought process, but I was still angry with him.

Now Aysel has her own demons. Her father committed an unspeakable act in their small town. Now he's locked away and she has pushed everyone away and no one will even look at her. Not even her own mother. I felt horrible for Aysel because what she really needed was a mom who could tell something wasn't right and who would reassure her that she was not like her father. Being like her father was Aysel's biggest fear, and I totally understood that feeling. I just wished she had someone to talk to about it.

They become suicide partners thanks to a website, and over the next few weeks they plan how they are going to do it. Where they will do it becomes most important because Roman has a specific, non-negotiable date in mind. April 7th is to be the day they do it.

But what neither of them expects is the thing that happens. They slowly begin to fall for each other as they spend more and more time together. He lets her in emotionally a lot sooner than she lets him in emotionally, but eventually, she too allows him in. This book that starts out feeling like "just another suicide book" turns into something beautiful and full of hope. 

I wasn't expecting to have the feels at all in the book, but then they kinda came out of nowhere and before I knew it I was sobbing into my Kindle. This book was a beautiful book with interesting characters that I cared deeply about, and that was missing from the two previous "suicide books" that I had read.

This book surprised me in the best possible way and I think everyone needs to read this book. I didn't expect to love this book as much as I did, but I'm thrilled I read it and I want everyone else to read this gorgeous book. 5 stars to this book and I cannot wait to see what's next for this author.