If We Were Having Coffee #1

So I got this idea from Jamie of The Perpetual Page-Turner who got it from a blogger/life coach named Ashley.Sometimes we forget that there is a whole other side to book bloggers. A side that does not obsess about books and talk about them incessantly. So grab a cup of coffee (generally my coffee of choice is a Venti Mocha at Starbucks) and let's chat.

If we were having coffe, I'd talk about how much I have hated 2014 so far. It definitely has not been kind to my family.My mom got fired from work in the beginning of January. Totally unjustified because she has been off work on Workman's Comp since September of 2013. Thank goodness we have a lawyer who will not let this go. Workman's Comp has been a nightmare to deal with and she's frustrated and sometimes wondering how the bills are going to be paid. I give her money (we are literally best friends) but I practically have to force it into her hand.

At the end of January my 13 year old brother got a concussion.It was considered minor but the temporary mood changes were exasperating. Plus he dealt with headaches all the time. Then, this past weekend he was at his dad's house and somehow managed to break 2 fingers in his right hand. What hand does he use to write, you ask? Of course his right hand.

My grandmother, who is normally extremely healthy, is now having some health issues. Scary for us because she is normally the healthiest one in our family. I would ask you to please keep her and the rest of my family in your thoughts & prayers.

If we were having coffee, I'd admit to feeling down lately. Not depressed, but just bummed about where I am in life. Ten years ago I had all of these plans and none of them have gone the way I wanted them to. I would admit to feeling like a loser because math is an exceptionally difficult subject for me. All of my other classes, I do very well even excellent. But not math. Math is just not my forte. I'd ask you what your best subjects in school is/was.I'd also admit to being a loser because I just cannot make a relationship work. I desperately want to, but I lack the skills and the inspiration to do so.

No one in my family has really shown me what it's like to be happily married and committed for life. Mom has been married & divorced twice. Both of them assholes. Both of them verbally & emotionally abusive. My grandmother is on her 3rd marriage. First husband was abusive.Second husband died.And now she is on her third husband. My mom's brother has never been married.Ideally marriage is supposed to be forever, but the 49-50% divorce rate would show me that marriages fail.Since I am a child (and adult) of divorce I am essentially screwed. Logically, I know that I am not my family and that I can take the steps necessary to put everything I have into a marriage.

I'd tell you that friendships are changing and I am realizing more and more who to trust. Who is going to be there for me when I need them to be and who only comes around when they need something.It hurts, thinking someone was a close friend, basically a best friend but we have drifted apart a lot in the past couple of years.

I'd tell you how much I panicked when I got a Facebook friend request from one of the boys who bullied me in high school. I mean, there were 4 sometimes 5 of them that made my Sophomore & Junior years absolute hell. Nothing was really done about them for awhile as it was a small private school and the parents of these boys had buckets of money. I have blocked out most of what they did to me in high school but some memories will always remain. 

I'd tell you that this felt really good and that we should keep doing it. At least once a month.

So what did you guys think? Comment below and say what you'd say to me if we were having coffee. If you want to keep it anonymous, you are welcome to do that as well.